Thursday, December 18, 2008

I changed my layout AGAIN.

I always love to have the best blog layout, the finest blog posts, the cutest sidebars, and the most comments on posts. But I realized I am not always the perfect one. So I change my layout a lot. I would spend the whole Saterday afternoon wandering around on the internet try to find a better picture behind my blog title. I would look for a better music player for my blog over and over <--- so sad the one I'm using now doesn't like me and won't play my favorite Chinese music Y Qu. I would stay up very late try to think about a new blog post if my parents are at a party. I would sneaking around onto other people's blog and comment on them so they will visit back <---I do that on my Chinese blog. Blog is not a person's life. But I see it as part of my life and it is so important that I would die if I don't write on it.

I started blogging when I was in 8th grade. I have had several blogs that I abandoned. Most of the reasons are that the layout is not pretty enough, or there isn't a friend at school who is visiting it often. So I deleted most of them. And now I have two left - my Chinese blog on QQ and this English blog. I want to keep it simple like daily journals. I keep the QQ blog because that is one of the major ways for me to talk to my friends back in China. I keep this blog because I want my American friends to know me more. I generated the most information on the least amount of blogs so that they are more efficient.

I am a lazy person. And I do stuff according to my interests. My mom always tells me that I need to do whatever that benefits me no matter if I like it or not. As I grow older and older, I do more things that 'benefits me but I don't like', and I hate them more. I build a complex personality myself but want to keep it more simple. You would think I am a happy, quiet, and hard-working person <--- simple like that. But fortunately, I am not. I talk to different people in quite different tones. A good friend in China asked me last month on her blog, "After I read your conversation with ***, I feel like you are a different person now. You are not the one I met any more. I don't know what happened, but you changed." After I read her comments, I was like WTF? People must change as life goes on. And I don't expect you adjust me by my conversation with another person. I don't even expect you to read my conversation with another person. I am a polygon who you would like some part of me. I don't care if you hate some of my other habits or personalities. People must be different from each other. And I am unique because of all those habits and characteristics that you don't like.

I've changed, like the picture you see at the top of this page. Like that often. I want to improve myself, and create a more interest person in the world. I change my thoughts every second of my life. But that's normal. I believe you are just like me. So I want you to understand me. Because everyone is trying to take himself/herself into the next level.


« older | newer »