But for a day like this...how can it end w/out one?

First of all, a message to Gary.

Hey Gary, I have so much to say to you. I don't know where to start with.

I made some baozi for you and your family today. I hope you all will like them! =] That's one of my fav vegie azn food. teehee. Mrs. Fan wanted us to stay to eat with them but I felt that I couldn't. They were busy enough and I didn't want to add anything more to them. But I have to say that you have a loving family and everyone is just adorable! =]

I wrote on your fb wall for several times today. I curse fb for having word limit on posts!!! It made my awesome sweet post split into two parts. :( But the love is never split and I hope you can read it sometime soon. =] I know they have wireless in heaven and you are probably helping Jesus to get used to the new fb layout right? ;P

I seriously miss you on gmail chat at this time every night. The last time I chatted w/ you was last Tuesday morning. You finished writing your new oratory! Ahh I'm glad I was able to hear it today although it was not you delivering it. It would be more amazing if it's you though. But I found that what I need to learn from you is all those natural jokes not like my 'GMIF' jokes. I realized that I'm a lot less talented at either writing or delivering an oratory (as I've always known this fact for years.) But I'm trying to improve from listening to you, looking at you, and thinking about how you does all these things. You are someone that I'll never forget, Gary. You inspired everybody and the inspiration will have a long lasting impact. I'm thinking about a new oratory title today. Anand and Paavan gave me some 'creative' ideas today on fb. I really appreciate them, but still, I do really need to find a better one, not only for you, but for my own sake. Gary you wanted all of us to succeed and that would make you happy. Isn't that how someone's life should be though? Isn't that just the great philosophy behind all the respectful persons? When everyone is successful one's world, one should be happy and graceful. You see, I'm trying to be someone like you, Gary. But I know that I'll never become you. But how stubborn am I, I'm still trying. You are probably saying "it's ok" or something like that or probably just laughing at me right now. Ha, this does make me laugh, too.

I'm sorry that my Fan 4 Gov bracelet broke this summer in my car. I wore it all year last year on my ID Badge. I still have the candy cane next to my bed. Haha. I guess I'll carry it to this year's YIG meeting. I miss the campaign parties at Reina's house last year. It was so much fun. =] I remember I got either glue in my hair or black marker on my jeans in every single party. And you told me in Chinese how to wash it off. You always care about others so much, I mean, TOO much. I always thought that too much caring for others would make oneself very tired and cannot focus on one's own life. But apparently you overcame all these problems and became someone perfect at this.

I want to sing a song to you, Gary. You sang for us. But I never even tried although I have great voice too! JK. You get to pick which song you want me to sing. Ok. So basically if you want me to do anything for you now, I will do it without any thoughts. You are probably laughing again. Hehe. I admit that I'm silly from time to time when doing something that I'm not that good at. Now I'm afraid that both my Chinese and English writing skills are not very good. (Maybe I should write this in Français?? JK.)

In the end, since I'm kinda tired and there're still 60 pages of amsco waiting for me to read, I want to thank you. Please tell me if you and your family need anything. I'm always here. I feel bad for not being able to help.

I love you, Gary.

Are you listening?

Please don't laugh at me when I say silly things like NOW. ;)

I can still feel you shaking and poking me w/ you bony hands sometimes.

Well...

Using Brit Schloesser's word,

"The truth is,

I miss you."

Eileen.

What a day it is today.

What can I say? The world is puzzled. I always don't understand somethings when they happen. Most importantly, those are the things that are rather important, not like random math problems or bio terms. I don't cry when I'm hurt. I cry when I hate. I cry when things don't make sense. I had to let my tears fall. Because I don't understand, why you are taken from me. And I guess, the world is puzzled, too.